All right, kiddies, it’s time for me–Kate–to make a sad announcement. I am officially retiring as a Blonde. (I will, however, remain a blonde, though I occasionally consider becoming a redhead again.)

The fact is, you haven’t heard from me here in months. Laurie, bless her heart, has kept the site going all on her own and generously allowed me to keep taking credit. That ain’t right. The problem is, my life suddenly got about 10 times busier than it used to be, and I kept thinking I’d make it back here when things settled down, but… they aren’t settling down.

I’ll still be around regularly at Shapely Prose, occasionally at Shakesville, and–knock wood–possibly at Broadsheet. (I’ve written some pieces for them over the last few weeks and will find out if I’m officially hired some time soon.) I’m also working on a book that’s due out next spring and trying to actually stay in touch with my friends, so there just aren’t enough hours in the day for me to keep wearing the advice columnist hat. (Note: my contributions to the new Aunt Fattie series over at Shapely Prose have been about as substantial as they’ve been here lately, so it’s not like I’m swapping one for the other.)

Thank you all so much for reading and sending questions. Be nice to Laurie.

Love,

Kate

Dear Blondes ~ I’m a yo-yo dieter and I can’t seem to lose my cellulite. I think it gets worse each summer, and I know you will probably tell me not to worry about it but I do. Any advice for me? I don’t have money for plastic surgery. I wouldn’t get it but I still wish there was something out there that works. Should I Just get over it and not worry about it or do you have any advice for me? Thanks.

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If you’re not going orange on April 10th, you’re no friend of The Blondes.

*You can also learn more about the event on Facebook. Aren’t you on Facebook like all the other cool kids?

Dear Blondes,

My dentist says that I’m grinding my teeth to nubs. She recommends an acrylic bite splint that will cost nearly $400.

I don’t have dental insurance, so I went online and found the SleepRight Adjustable Night Guard.

It’s cheaper, but is it a waste of money?

Thanks,
Mouthy

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We apologize for the hiatus. Kate is writing furiously and I am helping my grandmother recover from her surgeries (& taking my cats to the vet).

We are amazed by how much traffic comes to the site, and we appreciate your love & support. Back soon with advice!

Love,
The Blondes

Hey blondes,

I was reading over your love at work post and thought what the hell, maybe I’ll get you to weigh in on my love/work issue.

I’ve had a benign colleague crush on another grad student (we’ll call him Josh) for some time: he’s adorable, we’ve gotten along swimmingly on projects, and since he made a point of visiting my office pretty frequently last semester, we had frequent chats that always resulted in both of us feeling positive (as opposed to “Oh God what am I doing here,” which is an effect grad students can often have on each other).

Over the holidays I became single, and vowed to starting hanging out more with my school friends. Josh and I went out and had a few beers, then went back to his place to watch a movie (his suggestion), then started making out (his initiation). I was very happy with this development; we had a nice time, we talked pretty frankly (I thought) about each other (he had a colleague crush on me too) and what we each wanted romantically (nothing serious, just fun and friendship and respect). I looked forward to the next time.

But there was no next time. We’re both very busy but I wanted to see him, so I compromised and suggested that we get some reading done together and then reward ourselves by watching a movie he really wanted to see. He begged off. Then I didn’t hear from him all week. I sent him a tentative Email the following weekend saying that I felt uncomfortable that we hadn’t been in touch since hooking up. He called me, full of apology, and explained that he was really nervous and uncomfortable about how physically close we’d gotten, and also nervous about how to manage seeing each other with his work schedule, and just all around nervous. I said okay, we’ll just go back to being colleagues, we can manage that. And he said No, no, he wanted to spend time together, he wanted to do fun non-serious things, he had a lot of fun the other night and wanted to hang out more often.

But since then, every time I’ve made a suggestion, he’s made an excuse. Never “No, how about another time?” or “Let’s not do that, but something else!” - just No, I can’t. So I stopped making suggestions. And I haven’t heard from him in three weeks now.

Blondes, I’m occasionally angry but mostly dismayed. I don’t know if I still want to be friends, but I’m upset that his actions were so inconsistent with his words and I’m sorry that we’re not even hanging out in the workplace anymore. I also don’t know why - have I repulsed him? Is he really just consumed with all of his nervousness and insecurities, like he said? Should I try to talk to him, if only just to figure out what the heck happened? And if so, what should I say?

Thanks,
Confused Grad Student

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